Be Kind With Your Thoughts
Making music is a source of immense joy. Musicians create beautiful sounds from the heart, expressing themselves through this universal language. It's a journey that allows us to acquire new skills and exercise our brains, but at times, it can also be stressful. As human beings, we tend to be hard on ourselves when we feel our performance isn't "perfect" or when we compare ourselves to others. Such negative thoughts can hinder our motivation to practice and learn. I've faced this myself, and it's not a productive headspace to be in.
So, how do we maintain the joy of music when it brings us anxiety? I've started using Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), a fascinating method that teaches our brains to redirect negative thoughts into positive ones. The first step is recognizing unhelpful thoughts and replacing them with encouraging and helpful ones.
For example, if you're struggling with repetitive fast notes in a piece of music:
Identify the problem: Difficulty playing fast notes.
Identify the unhelpful thought: "I'll never play this right."
Identify the unhelpful feeling: Discouragement and anger.
Identify the unhelpful behavior: Giving up on the piece.
CHALLENGER: What's another way to think about this? Is it set in stone?
Identify the new helpful thought: "This is more challenging than I expected, but it's making my brain work! My current practice method isn't working. Is there another method I can try?"
Identify the new helpful feeling: Curiosity and motivation.
Identify the new helpful behavior: Continuing to learn the piece.
MANTRA: "Challenges are adventures and learning experiences."
In the case of a beginning cello student struggling with instrument squeaking:
Identify the problem: Consistent squeaking on the instrument.
Identify the unhelpful thought: "I'm not any good, I'll never get this right, I sound bad."
Identify the unhelpful feeling: Discouragement, sadness, annoyance.
Identify the unhelpful behavior: Considering giving up or quitting lessons.
CHALLENGER: What's another way to think about this? Is it set in stone?
Identify the new helpful thought: "I'm curious about what causes the squeaking. Right now, I'm doing it accidentally. Can I do it intentionally?"
Identify the new helpful feeling: Curiosity, motivation, a sense of owning my abilities.
Identify the new helpful behavior: Coming to lessons with specific questions and even demonstrating my ability to control the squeaking.
MANTRA: "Challenges are adventures and learning experiences."
Training our brains to work in this manner is a skill that takes practice, much like mastering a musical instrument. Over time, you'll become better at being kind to yourself, even in stressful situations. After all, it's when we're most stressed that we need kindness the most.
